Wotcha playmates,

as youre possibly aware - I'm a bit of a train buff on the quiet... so I was excited to see a film being shown on BBC 1 entitled 'Runaway Train' the other day.

So I made meself a cup of chamomile tea, opened a packet of Pontefract cakes and settled down to what I hoped would be a jolly railway thriller.

Blimey, but what a crock of dung it was though folks.... Jon Voight was appallingly cast as a prison tough guy (you know, I'm not convinced the bloke can actually act!), and then his partner in the bust out had a selection of accents on the go at any one given time. Ridiculous stuff.

He walked halfway across the ice and snow of Alaska without any shoes on without remotely managing to convey what coldness might feel like. Plonker.

As it was impossible to warm to any of the characters (a plank of wood just aint that lovable) the final scene - where Voight is riding on the roof of the locomotive as it careers towards certain oblivion.... to the sound of a heavenly choir actually had me shrieking with laughter. Probably not the effect the coked up (allegedly) director had in mind when filming I'd imagine.

Unmitigated garbage, folks.... I just had to get that off my chest.

Phew... I'm feeling better already - Cap'n S