JOURNEY INTO MONTY'S BRAIN - PART 5
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After finishing the Related Arts course I went on to study Art Therapy in London (bloody eternal student!) Yvonne Luna told me that Captain Sensible was playing regularly with Dr Space Toad at the Albert pub-a must see!
Club Space Toad (1993-94)
Soon
I was there every Monday bringing hand held percussion with me. I was
pleased to see that Roy (well known Brighton eccentric train driver) was
there on space noises. Roy used to walk through the streets of Brighton
dressed as an army captain clutching a megaphone and commenting on passers
by.
I wrote this retrospective of a typical night for the “Universe
of Captain Sensible” fanzine:
“Amidst
the dense screaming roar of feedback and cosmic squeaks, tables chairs
and microphones flew in all directions and Captain began bashing Space
Toad on the head with his bass guitar; everyone ended up a mass of sprawling
limbs on the floor. PHOOF! Roy’s equipment blew the fuses and all
was cast into smoky darkness…
Thus
ended another Club Space Toad at the Albert pub atop Trafalgar Street
in Brighton. At this time it was a surreal cesspit of a pub. Artificial
limbs, gassmasks, tubas and other weird objects hung on the walls. Dogs
(one at least200 years old) and a cat with the largest feline bollocks
you ever saw wandered freely peeing and pooing frequently. The wooden
floor soaked in the rich marinade cat’s piss stale beer and sweet
essence of dog. The gents bog was outside and you had to dodge the turds
to get to it (there was a rumour that some of these were human in origin!)
Enter
our host Dr Space Toad (this 21st century troubadour is never seen without
his guitar as he wanders, a dandy vagabond, in search of young women to
read their palms and their stars…)
“Welcome to Club Space Toad, home for sad lunatics from the end
of time…” he intones in deep basso profundentum.
“Sad lunatic yerself!!” yell the irreverent Fish Brothers
from the bar (Brighton’s #1 drinking songs band)
“I didn’t come here to be insulted.” Replies Toad
with an indignant shake of his mane.
“Yes you did-BOLLOCKS!!!” return the fish getting nicely
sloshed.
“I’ve never been so insulted, no one understands my genius!”
laments the Toad.
“Get on with it you fraud!” shouts Captain (no sympathy
there!)
This pantomime or theatre of cruelty to Toads is a regular part of the
Space Toad Experience.
“Good evening boys and girls, Captain Barrington White (Victoria
Cross, OBE and one-eyed trouser snake award) reporting for duty.”
Says Roy pointing his enormous machine gun into the audience. Train driver
by trade (well why not I’m a psychiatric nurse myself OOPS!) sometimes
he is transformed into the illustrious bishop of the Church of Ill Repute
to bless the congregation from his pulpit come confessional box: “Come
in here and give me your secret confessions of desire!”
With
myself battering an old African drum the band launch into “It’s
not unusual to be unusual anymore” and then Toad announces:
“It’s time for us to go on a journey; Captain Barrington
White, set the controls on the time machine for now the pub must travel
through time and space.” And so it was; constellations planets
and galaxies fly past the window evoked by the cosmic murmurs from the
time machine.
“Wow the HSB is good this week!” say the fish downing
pints in one while Mr upinone adds his to the canal number5 fragrance
of the flooring.
“Now it’s time for the other performers to play.”
“Yes, save us from the Turd!” yells Captain on his way
to the bar for a pint and a gossip. There was Captain Stupidt singing
“Doleques of your mind”, Bongo and Chi improvising songs
on the spot, and the god Thor turns up as well…
“I am come from Asgard!”
“Crap! You’re mad Mike!” shout the Fish: SAD LUNATICS
FROM THE END OF TIME.
One night a whole bunch of folk came in fancy dress: Indians, bellydancers,
gypsies and the very tall Mr Hi Cliff in his chain mail clutching a broadsword,
it was like a Monkees film.
Finally we return to play Toad’s finest ditties: “My old
mate the Coypu” and “Dance of the Toad” and
the olde Floyd classic “Set the Controls for the Heart of the
Sun” as the pub re-enters the Earth’s orbit and our piss-filled
TARDIS finally touches down…
“This is the end, beautiful friend until next Monday, this is
the EEEEEEEND!” followed by the chaos described above. Captain
has the ability to create total chaos on stage without instruments equipment
or musicians being seriously damaged, how does he do it?
“But what about this bump on my head?” says Toad “I’d
better get it read by a clairvoyant…”
Out of this primal slime the Dr Space Toad Experience tadpole was spawned.
The Dr. Space Toad Experience
Soon
this bizarre event gave birth to an equally odd band; I played DD’s
battered old drum kit until it disintegrated after a fit of moron drum-rage!
We played in Brighton and around Sussex (and once supported Arthur Brown!)
Later we recorded an album, which was released on Blueprint: “Time
Machine”. It consists of a trip through a universe warped by
the imagination of the Toad. Your crew and companions for this journey:
a dissolute and incompetent (though not musically!) crew of English eccentrics
that would have caused Dr Who to commit suicide if they were his assistants!
A great collection of psychedelic weirdness and great songs of true genius!
Get your copy NOW from:
Voiceprint,
Sunrise House,
Gasshouse Lane,
Houghton-le-spring,
Tyne and Wear
DH4 5AL
The
very strange Mr Turan joined us on drums, and we played Cambridge Strawberry
Fair before doing “The Sad Lunatic Tour” of the north
that some of you may remember. Finally we played a gloriously sunny Glastonbury
(1995) and a Belgian beer festival. Since then we have continued to play
mostly festivals where psychedelic’s go down well, with other drummers
such as Vic Richard’s son Bernie and more recently Prince Ash (of
Anal Beard: great name!). Meanwhile Space Toad continues to wander the
planet in search of palms to read…get yours done at www.geocities.com/futurize03
Working with Cap. In the Space Toad Experience led to other projects: we worked together on a film soundtrack for our monster-making pal Gabe Bartelof. (He appeared with a bunch of ghouls at the Blood Drive gig in California last year. He also showed us some footage of a man running down a New York street wearing nothing but a large rubber brain shortly before getting arrested!) The film never got finished but during this process Captain introduced this arch-technophobe some of the delights of music software. I still can’t get my head round CUBASE but I can at least programme sounds on the keyboard thanks to his patience! We discovered a shared interest in unusual organ music produced by such visionaries as Terry Riley, Mike Ratledge and Messiaen. “Monty’s Revenge” was recorded during this period and was released on the “Mad Cows” CD, demonstrating Mr Riley’s influence nicely! Captain also encouraged me to be more adventurous with clothes; before this I used to wear very boring clothes even trying deliberately to camouflage myself due partly to social anxiety and to my phobia of clothes shops! Captain, Roy and Kirsty (more about her in a bit) changed all that: I enjoy a bit of flamboyance these days. Apart from working with Captain I must also mention a fantastic sax player: Dee Byrne who gigged with me in the good old Albert that year. Having been unable to find work as an Art Therapist and not at all wishing to go back to full time nursing, I was unsure where life was headed. Bob the landlord wisely told me to "go with the flow” with the music: he was sure things would work out…
Punk Floyd
At
the end of 1995 we put together a band to play Captain’s excellent
solo material, especially some of the underrated post-Happy Talk psychedelic
songs from albums like Revolution Now, The Universe of Geoffrey Brown
and Meathead. The first line up consisted of Captain guitar and vocals,
myself on keys, Garrie Dreadful drums Chris Page on bass. We also included
Life Goes On, Smash It Up, (which Chris had not learned
properly!) Dozen Girls and a long cosmic version of Neat Neat
Neat. We did a UK tour that stands out in my memory for two important
meetings. On the 8th December at York Fibbers I met a young woman from
Cornwall who shares my 
enthusiasm
for music beer and burping. She also does great artwork, is imaginative
and has a rude and irrepressible sense of humour. Her name is Kirsty,
and she became my girlfriend early the next year. The next day I met Mr
Vanian for the first time at the Mean Fiddler in London 
where
we supported the Phantom Chords; this meeting was also to lead to significant
events! (Punk Floyd continued with Sir Dangerous Dave, who was minister
for defence in the Monster Raving Loonie Party on bass. We toured Germany
and the UK and released the 
“Mad
Cows and Englishmen” CD in 1996 on Scratch Records.)
At
the start of 1996 I was delighted to hear that the Damned were reforming
with Captain and Dave back together again. I didn’t think for one
minute that they would use me as well and so it was a truly fantastic
surprise for me to be involved! I stayed at Mr Pottle’splace while
we
rehearsed in London. I found it quite easy to learn most of the songs
as I was so familiar with them, however I was reminded of their complexity:
Damned songs aren’t like your average two-chord punk songs as you
all know! So on the8th February 1996 I was on stage at the Square Harlow:
my first gig with the Damned. There was a great feeling of excitement
and energy as well as a “this is the way it’s meant to be”
feeling. “Each player takes his chance to play and lives to find
another day…”
Monty Oxymoron 2001.
Postscript:
If you actually want more of this stuff (!) I wrote stories from the Damned
and Punk Floyd tours in Henrik’s excellent “Neat Damned Noise”
fanzine:
Neat
Damned Noise
P.O.Box 131471
The Woodlands,
Texas 77393-1471
USA
Web-site: www.ndnrecords.com
Many thanks to HJ and Alasdair for help at this end with this “journey”, and of course to Mark Orbit himself for realising it all!
Best
Fishes,
Monty